Don’t worry, I took the pathetic time to make this survey entertaining AND interactive. I know how you kids like those hyper text links! Man, I don’t think I’ve completed a survey own da innernetz in (appropriately) a really really really long time. In fact, I may or may not have been in high school and the survey may or may not have been a series of questions about how much I love *Charmed*:
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
not at all
Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?
single but taken and heartbroken and that’s confusing.
What if I told you that you were pretty?
I’d think it’d be weird, but nice coming from an anthropomorphic survey being.
Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
No, but I’ve said it a time or twenty I think and it’s always true.
Are you interested in anyone right now?
yes, and they’re in jail : ( TTYL Richard Ramirez!
What are you looking forward to in the next week?
not being bloated
Do you want to be single?
yes?
Did you go out or stay in last night?
I went to a birthday dinner, then saw Flight of the Conchords at the Ryman, and then to a house party
How late did you stay up last night?
3am-ish (without the hypen it would have said 3 amish)
Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?
yesterday at Flight of the Conchords. Oh, Jemaine…
Last three things you had to drink?
Stella Artois, Stella Artois and a Stella Artois — yay driving!
Have you pretended to like someone?
everyday. it’s just easier that way.
Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
nope. I never throw that word around. Words I do throw around: whiffletree, hefeweizen, palimony
Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
someone saw me in my underwear last night, but it was my roommate and I was drunk and we were tickling and having a pillow fight!!! lolz
Is it hard for you to get over someone?
oh definitely. beer, Netflix on- demand, and friends help.
Think back five months ago, were you single?
no no no. i haven’t been single consistenly since i was 14
What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
sleeping, sadly.
Hold hands with anyone this week?
Abby
Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
only if there was some fucked up stipulation like: “We will slaughter a village of Albanians if you ever drink again” and then I’d only do it if someone Albanian really fucked me over.
What would you name your future daughter?
I’ve always liked Evelyn, but that might be too indie by the time I thaw out this ole womb…
Do you miss anyone?
Many people — pretty much the entire state of Texas save Rick Perry and that gross bitch(some legislator in some realm) that said that Chinese people should have to change their last names because they’re too hard to pronounce. Seriously. This happened last week in Texas.
Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
Oh yes…do I remember it clearly? No, no I do not, but it did happen.
Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
no no
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
with most people, yes. once someone actually knows me, I have some *tells* that always give me away…
Have you ever cried from being so mad?
yes. someone claimed I called my own mother a bitch and I raged like the little bull that I am.
Who did you last see in person?
pretty much everyone I work with at a birthday party, but I guess specifically Sara McManigal…
Are you listening to music right now?
no, that’s what Satan wants you to do and this is HIS day! *proudly nods*
What is something you currently want right now?
peace on earth JK…some Chicken Selects©
What is the last thing you said out lot?
*out lot*? what does that mean? What is the last thing I said at Big Lots? “Are these Snackwell’s devil’s food cakes really expired?”
How is your heart lately?
I’d say I’m averaging boooout Fiddy..fiddy-figh beats per boner…
Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
Yes, when I rap about drug prevention to the kids.
Are you wearing socks?
no and my bunion is silently mocking me with every passing moment
What do people call you?
Well, I know what they DON’T call me! Late to dinner and Jackie.
Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
I don’t think I have Sinbad’s phone number anymore…
Are there any stressful situations in your life?
my entire life is a stressful situation. if things ever were normal and not a constant source of stress, I think I’d faint from the shock.
Who did you last share a bed with?
A DVD of *All The Real Girls* and my snuggie..
Did you do something bad today?
I slept until 2pm, I drank, I smoked, I ate refined sugar, I watched a movie where they said *fuck* a lot, I said *fuck* a lot and I danced to rock-n-roll music on the Easter Sabbath. So, no.
When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
probably today. I try to avoid hugs and then I completely shut down internally when they’re happening to me.
Do you get stressed out easily?
I get stressed out to the point of diarrhea on a daily basis over the most piddlely-squat bullshit and then when things are serious and I should legitimately stress out, I’m usually completely apathetic. (I was going to type “apathetic and indifferent” and then realized they mean the exact same thing. I would have stressed out about that if I hadn’t edited. Seriously.)
How old is the oldest person on your top friends?
I’m going with my brother. I’m not *going with him* in life, but for this answer I am.
Will you sing today?
I did sing today. “Got My Mind Set on You”
Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?
Who hasn’t? Who would honestly answer this question with “no”. I’ll tell you who…no, I won’t. (eh? See what I did there? I was going to tell this survey something and I didn’t!)
Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?
Abby, Miranda, the Sham-Wow Guy
Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?
Not in an ambulance. My emergency room trips have all been voluntary and end in c-sections…
What are you listening to right now?
The whir of my ceiling fan, the clicking of keys, my own quiet (but audible) desperation…
What is wrong with you right now?
I’m filling out a fucking survey on the internet. That’s gross. I’m gross.
What is on your wrists right now?
Is this a question that is trying to make me admit that I cut or got a tyte ass tat? Because I haven’t done either, but I think this is a thinly veiled attempt by this passive-aggressive survey to get someone to confront their most deeply guarded secrets and/or brag about body modification on a social networking website. Well played, survey, well played.
Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?
from a boy/man’s house
What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?
hot apple cider
Do you make wishes at 11:11?
I didn’t really know that I was supposed to. I do it at 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55, 10:10, and 12:12. 11:11? Really? G-a-y.
Are you a good artist?
Only when the medium is a penis and/or dry wall.
Love really is a beautiful thing huh?
Eh..
Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
No. I was desperately interviewing for a new job and feeling like I was going to be a complete failure douche bag if I didn’t get it (I got it).
Ever been on a golf cart?
Yes. I actually violently fell out of one going top speed (12 mph). I was so high on pixie sticks(meth), that I didn’t even notice. I just got right back on that horse (heroin) and rode til mornin’ light (the battery died)!
Do you have trust issues?
Depends. My parents? yes. My best friend? sometimes. Bernie Maddoff? Never! Ca-ching! *coin sounds*
Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?
probably Dione Warwick or a TOTALLYCUTEOMGSK8TRBOI!
Do you own something from Hot Topic?
They actually have (surprisingly) cute skinny jeans and (not surprisingly) kewl Twilight tees!
Do you use chap stick?
I am actually addicted. I have chap-stick available to me everywhere. I hoard it.
Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
In high school theater. I never really *got* stage combat.
Do you have a little sister?
thank god, no.
Have you ever been to New York?
I have.
Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
I think they do somewhere in their heart. They were drunk, though.
Have you hugged someone within the last week?
tonight.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
drinking and talking to Sam and Chad and a girl I met named Rebecca about forensic pathology. Not a lie.
Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
Eh. Kissing is so benign in the scheme of physical things that humans can do with/on eachother, so I’m going to go with “no” on this one.
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Crouton
Were your last three kisses from the same person?
Yes.
Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
No. Well, on the cheek and, no, I take it back. My friend Christie had a birthday last night, was really shit-canned wasted, and kissed me on the mouth. I hope she’s ready to commit. I signed a card at church camp saying I wouldn’t kiss until marriage.
Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
alone. There are plenty of things you can do in a bed with someone (build a little fort, perhaps!), but sleeping is Jamie time. Don’t touch me. Don’t *cuddle* me. Don’t talk to me and for GOD SAKES, don’t attempt to rouse me.
Will next friday be a good one?
I think we can all agree that this past Friday was a GOOD one! HO! I got in another Easter reference! USA! USA! JESUS! USA!
April 14, 2009 at 2:24 am |
the second to last response gave me flashbacks of the times when i’d wake you up and you’d snap back at me in a really snarky, adorable way that you had no memory of mere minutes later. i’m not ashamed to admit that i LOLed.
