how much is a ticket to pittsburgh?

This lil baby was born at the Pittsburgh zoo this morning.  My favorite part from this article is the description of the other elephants’ reactions to the new addition:

“…and we will begin introductions to the rest of the herd immediately,” said Tracy Gray, a zoo spokeswoman. “The other elephants were all very excited and trumpeted repeatedly following the birth.”‘

How cute is that?!  Ugh!  I can’t stand it!  This tiny babe is the 2nd elephant calf born to the zoo within the month!  So, a some point like a little over a year ago (as the elephant gestation period is pretty lengthy as I’ll recall…) there was a lot of pachyderm passion goin’ ’round!

 The cuteness is off the charts. *raises trunk in excitement*

april winchell is funny.

I always forget about April Winchell’s blog, but I have a feeling that she and I would get along swimmingly.  She recently posted about meeting Andy Dick at a rib joint and it’s perfect.  The simplicity of her, sadly incredibly accurate, descriptions are beyond enjoyable.  Please do yourself a favor and read: My Dinner With Andy.  He’s no Wallace Shawn, but who needs witty existential banter when you can read about a total washed up addict and bbq side dishes?  Bon appetite!

eek!

I normally try to keep my animal-related stories on the cute n’ cuddly (or at least bizarre) side, but its nice to remember that Mother Nature is a cruel bitch-goddess.  So that’s why I’m posting Russian Bears Trap Geology Survey Crew from The Moscow Times.  It’s the type of terrifying reality that us animal lovers tend to glaze over, but hungry animals equal desperate animals.  However, the situation is completely created by men in this case.  Over fishing?  Check.  Littering and attracting bears to populated areas?  Check.  Russian government delaying rescue efforts and leaving a team of geologists to fend for themselves when two of their own have already been killed by the bears?  You best believe that’s a check!

WWWHD?  What Would Werner Herzog Do?  I smell a sequel!  Grizzly Men? Either way, the most troubling part of this article is that there is no resolution.  It’s like when you watch news coverage of trapped miners.  The drama!  The intrigue!  Only, replace coal with huge, starving bears and you’ve got yourself one dilly of a pickle.  My thoughts are genuinely with these men and with the bears that will inevitably be shot to death.  Ain’t life grand?

stinky revelations!

As I was perusing one of my many portals for wacky news stories, I was stopped in my tracks by this headline: 

‘Bomb Turns Out to Be String Cheese Incident’

What could this article possibly be about?  My first thought was that members of local Nashville band How I Became The Bomb have developed a fondness for hemp garments and djimbays, but I was sorely mistaken!

Turns out this article is about a bomb scare in a Utah grocery store.  Some dumbass confused a busted open lunchable for an explosive device and all cheesy hell broke loose.  I can’t help but keep hearing someone yelling “FAIL” in an abrasive baritone and it delights me very much — almost as much as a righteous jam sesh!

sugar bush squirrel

www.sugarbushsquirrel.com — there is really nothing that can be said to describe this website.  It must be experienced.  I will say that I can’t tell which incarnation of this squirrel I love most:  The tribute to Jon Benet Ramsey or Sugar Bush Squirrel googling Kim Jong Il.  Man, I love the internet with all my heart.

i can die happy…

When I saw the headline “Dutch House Cat Adopts Rejected Red Panda”, I will admit that my jaw dropped and I think I may have gone temporarily blind in preparation for the cute feast that my eyes were about to consume.

Sadly, the accompanying photos aren’t nearly as adorable as the concept and story itself, but satisfying nevertheless.  I would like to imagine a world where my two favorite things from any given genre/genus/what-have-you join forces in order to thoroughly please me at all times.  Luckily, I have really awesome interests so the idea of that happening is totally not as selfish as it sounds.  Peanut butter and waffles — anybody?  Pizza flavored doritos?  A baby hamster riding on the back of a pug?!  The possibilities are truly endless.  You’ll all benefit.